It is not always the case that we look after a parent or child, sometimes we help a sibling in supporting a brother or sister who needs home care. This is more often the case when the sibling has some form of disability. This can be lifelong like cerebral palsy or autism or it can be acquired, as with an acquired brain injury after an accident.
Caring for a sibling is complex. There is a need to balance love, responsibility and living your own daily life. There is often a feeling of guilt over the time needed or wanting to fulfil a parent’s wish that you should look after your sibling. As with all our home care services, we provide supplemental support. We can arrange temporary respite care if it all becomes too much and we can arrange longer term permanent care for those who cannot care full time, for example when they need to return to work.
Caregiving for a sibling is unique and different. Parents are used to a parent-child relationship and acknowledge the need to care for their children. Siblings are born into families (in the case of life-long conditions) where they may have to take on a more mature mindset if they are required to care for a brother or sister. Sometimes it is an older sibling, with a younger sibling caring.
Added to this, there may be a cultural expectation to look after the family or extended family. This can add to an already busy life, building a career, having a personal life and balancing those with caregiving duties. Families are not as close as they once were and often siblings no longer live in the same area or town or even country as the rest of their family. Using a professional home care service can step in in these circumstances to support a family member who lives far away from you.
It is important to recognise that not everyone can be a full time caregiver. Looking after someone with a profound and severe disability with complex needs cannot be done alone. Everyone who is in this position needs support, either from family or from formal health professionals. Recognising when you need help is crucial to providing the best care for the person that you are looking after.
Supporting a brother or sister who needs home care
Practically, a sibling who needs home care might need help with any number of areas of their life. They might need companionship and safeguarding. They might need personal care or assistance with moving around in their wheelchair, climbing stairs or walking. They might need help with food preparation so that they are eating healthy meals. Home carers can arrange for prescription collection and the safe dispensation of medication. They may need help with arranging appointments to see the doctor or multi-disciplinary team and accompanying them when they go out. All of these caregiving activities can be divided up among family members, but sometimes they are left to one person who cannot manage alone. That’s when professional help can be called in to support from as little as a few hours each week to full time live-in care.
If you are feeling overwhelmed by caring for a sibling, or you have safety concerns about the complexity of their disability, it is time to seek help. There are many resources available in London, from peer to peer support groups, local council funding for home care services, and private home care providers like Jothno Care & Support. Getting help will restore the balance in your sibling relationship. You can go back to being a brother or sister who enjoys spending quality time with their sibling without the stress of caregiving.
We offer person-centred services that are tailored to the needs of our service users. We will form a care plan together with you, your sibling and your family that best meets the needs of your sibling. We can also arrange culturally sensitive care where we match the carer – language, religion, culture to the service user.
In South Asian families, the elder daughter is expected to provide care for the extended family and help around the domestic home. In modern times, though, the older daughter may have a career outside the home or a family of her own to care for. The eldest son is expected to help financially. Home care services can add up, so it is important that all options are considered for funding the care, especially when it is likely to last a lifetime. Luckily, councils can arrange for care assessments and funding for home care in this case.
Approaching a professional company to provide home care is not absolving yourself of the responsibility of caring for your family. It is caring for your family. Making sure that they have the best quality of care that is available. We support many South Asian families across London in this way. Siblings are still involved in their brother or sister’s care and are still a major part of their lives. Helping them to access home care help can strengthen the bonds between siblings, allowing them to continue loving and enjoying each other’s company.
If you need help for a sibling, fill in our referral form. You do not need a health professional to complete the form for you. After you have completed the form, one of our care teams will reach out to you to discuss the home care services we offer, the costs involved in home care, and how you can access financial support if needed. We will then formulate a care plan that is tailor made to your individual situation.
Supporting a brother or sister who needs home care is challenging but meaningful. Seek the help that you need, lean on professional services and maintain the balance. By keeping the focus on maintaining quality of life – both for yourself and for your brother or sister – you can forge a better life for both of you long into the future.